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The way I found it:
-Find Brother Genitivi's notes in his house in the Denerim Market District (not sure if it's available by default or not; if so, people in Redcliffe should be able to point you to it). This will put Haven village on the world map, in the southeast.
-Find brother Genitivi in the Haven church. This will likely involve pissing off the locals, if they're not angry already. He will lead you to the ruined temple near Haven.
-From there it's a pretty linear path to the urn. Dungeon crawl followed by a few puzzles. You can choose to help the cultists there or not, and I think you can get away without fighting the dragon if you play nice with the cultist at first (killing it nets you a dragon scale and a pile of other stuff). Your more devout companions will actually turn against you if they see you defile the urn. Either way, though, you can get some ashes and go heal the Arl.